Things We Do for Love
by Callea
Summary: Greendale holds a bachelorette auction.  Jeff/Annie. Sequel to Things We Do for Money
1. Chapter 1

Pairing: Jeff/Annie  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: Specifically 1x25, 2x12. Little details through 2x17.  
Notes: Thanks to lady0fthesith for the beta. LJ milady_milord Ficcy Friday prompt from tilie12.

Sequel to Things We Do For Money.

* * *

Jeff strides across the quad, taking the longest route in order to avoid the throng of students lined up to participate in the dean's latest misguided attempt to bolster school pride. Jeff exhales a sigh of relief when he makes it to his destination without a single quirky student or professor roping him into the chaos. As he pulls open the library doors, he isn't surprised to hear the overhead speaker crackle to life with the sound of Dean Pelton's voice ringing through the halls.

"Young men of Greendale! Don't forget to stop by the quad and exchange your validated volunteer work certificates for Greendale greenbacks. We know you college students don't have any real money, so only greenbacks will be accepted for bids on your favorite lady at this evening's charity bachelorette auction-" The dean halts his announcement, seeming to confer with an unidentifiable second party. "Oh, how inconsiderate of me. Old men men are welcome to participate as well. What's that?" After a few more seconds of muffled words, a surprised dean proclaims, "I forgot about lesbians." A brief silence follows before the dean corrects, "All men and all women of Greendale, stop by the quad for your Greendale greenbacks! Don't let another guy or gal - Greendale doesn't discriminate - buy that lovely lady you've had your eye on."

As Jeff pulls out his chair to join the three female members of the study group at their usual table, he mutters, "A Greendale bachelorette auction. I'd expect better prospects at singles night at a Wal-Mart."

After a round of gasps, Jeff responds to the loudest, "Annie, you didn't actually sign up for that freak show, did you?"

"Yes, Jeff! We all did."

Jeff looks to his right. "Britta, not you, too? I was really looking forward to a bra burning protest against the exploitation of women."

"Please, Jeff. It's called being charitable. Something you clearly know nothing about."

Jeff counters, "Hey, I've made charitable donations."

"Donating sperm doesn't count," Britta prods.

Jeff smirks, "It's harder work than you'd think."

"Ew!" Annie interjects.

Shirley coos as she smiles and bats her eyes, "Jeffrey, since my ex-husband slash boyfriend can't participate, because he isn't a Greendale student, I was hoping you'd bid on me." Shirley clutches her hands to her chest. "I wouldn't feel right about going on a date with anyone but Andre."

Jeff leans back in his seat as he prepares to inject a bit of reason into the conversation, "Shirley, I'd like to, but wouldn't it be easier on us both if you just didn't enter the auction?"

Shirley's brow wrinkles. "How would that help charity?"

Jeff protests, "You guys, I read the fliers. Most of these 'charities' are just excuses for school employees not to do their jobs. We're talking about grading papers for Duncan, not feeding starving children in Africa."

"Jeff, stop making excuses," Annie responds. "Some of the volunteer work is real. You could pick up trash from the highway. That's worth five times as many greenbacks per hour as grading papers."

Jeff tilts his head and squints one eye as as if thinking through a serious dilemma. "I considered that, but I don't have anything in my wardrobe that goes with a reflective orange vest."

"That is the kind of callous attitude that-"

Thankfully, Britta is interrupted by heavy breathing and the pounding of feet.

Troy comes to a halt inside the study room doors. He shouts, "Guys, you'll never believe who we just saw outside!"

Further down the hallway, behind Troy, Jeff sees the doors open to reveal Pierce. Jeff notices the older man laughing with his arm slung around the shoulders of a much younger, uncomfortable-looking man.

Jeff feels a tightening in his chest as he hears Annie gasp.

As Troy leans against the door frame, Pierce and Abed arrive with an all-too-familiar douche bag hippie in tow.

"Hey. Hello. What's up, guys?"

"Hey..." Jeff tries to force a smile. "Vaughn."

Jeff glances at Annie, whose eyes are bigger than he has ever seen them. Vaughn bursts into a smile and rushes toward her.

"Hey!" Annie exclaims as she jumps out of her chair and takes a step toward Vaughn, who flings his arms around her.

As Vaughn spins Annie in a much-too-lengthy embrace, Jeff's eyes form a hardened glare. He does his best to retain his forced smile, gritting his teeth and telling himself he doesn't care that some guy's arms are around Annie. It doesn't upset him at all that the possessor of said arms is her former boyfriend, and it doesn't matter in the slightest that said arm possessor has probably even slept with her. It especially doesn't bother Jeff that the asshole, whose arms are still around Annie, is obviously here to attempt to resume the aforementioned intercourse. Jeff's smile drops at that visual. He shakes the thought away and pastes his grin on as he watches Vaughn return Annie to her feet.

Jeff continues smiling when the hacky sack-playing moron plants a kiss on Annie's cheek, acting as he had never left, as if Annie had not broken up with him, as if nothing had ever happened between Jeff and Annie. Not that anything had happened, Jeff corrects himself. Nothing significant anyway.

Jeff continues to grit his teeth as his forced smile widens. Nope. He's not even a little upset. In fact, he's happy- no, thrilled! Yes, he's thrilled that Vaughn is back! Things can go back to the way they were. No more drama. No more punches in the nose. No more "either you want me or you don't" conversations. No more catching himself staring before remembering that she's too young and too good for him. No more waking up out of dreams of her naked in his arms.

"Hi, Vaughn," Britta says, interrupting Jeff's thoughts. "What are you doing here?"

"Just finished enrolling in a half-semester accounting class!" Vaughn announces.

"Um..." Annie tilts her head and her eyebrows knit. "That's a long commute from Delaware."

"Oh, right. I forgot. That's the surprise." He beams at Annie. "I moved back!" He raises his arms in the air. "I made the national hacky sack team. We train in Denver." He wraps one arm around Annie's shoulder and pulls her in tight as he asks, "Isn't that great, mountain flower?"

Annie's eyes connect with Jeff's for a moment before she forces a smile and answers, "Yeah, that's great."

After a prolonged awkward silence, Abed states, "It's time for class."

Anthropology doesn't start for another hour, but Annie seizes on Abed's assertion as she pulls out of Vaughn's grasp. "Yes, I have to go. Vaughn, let's catch up later."

"No, Annie," Shirley chimes in. "Stay and talk. We'll fill you in on anything you miss."

"But-" Annie stammers as she looks around the room in desperation.

Jeff follows Annie's gaze. Abed and Troy shrug in apology. Pierce, oblivious to the situation, pushes buttons and shakes his phone. Britta and Shirley offer encouraging smiles.

Annie's eyes lock on Jeff's. She silently pleads with him not to leave. Trapped in her doe-eyed gaze, Jeff forgets to be pleased at Vaughn's return. The last thing he wants is that unbathed stoner's hands all over Annie. Not because Jeff is jealous, but because Micro-Nipples still isn't good enough for her.

"Jeffrey," Shirley calls from the doorway. The others are behind her. "Are you coming?"

Annie's eyes have Jeff pinned, obliterating his well-crafted excuses to remain indifferent. Despite any judgement from the others, he has every intention of helping her make a hasty escape from those hemp braceletted arms.

He glances at Vaughn, who's looking at Annie with a goofy grin plastered on his face. Again Jeff's thoughts begin to dwell on whether the douche bag has been with Annie in a way Jeff has literally only dreamt about. Okay, Jeff admits to himself, maybe he is a little jealous, because the thought of knocking that grin off his stupid, hippie face makes Jeff very happy.

Shirley's voice goes deep. It carries the ominous warning of a mother. "Jeffrey?"

Her tone snaps Jeff out of his musings and reminds him that he's not a kid. It occurs to him, however reluctantly, that he's too old and too jaded to be jealous over a twenty year old girl. Even if he weren't, he'd missed his chance to confront the real question of whether he wanted her or not. Now he isn't entitled to his jealousy no matter how many hippies she ends up with.

Jeff pulls his gaze away from Annie. He gathers his books, offering her a half-hearted smile and a shrug as he follows the others out the door.

* * *

Jeff watches the projector screen roll upward, having once again escaped Professor Duncan's attempts to lock it in place. Jeff is well aware of Annie sitting next to him, staring motionlessly at the chalk board with her chin resting on one hand.

After he'd left the study room, Jeff and the rest of the group had gone to the cafeteria for coffee. As images of Annie with Vaughn played in an endless loop in Jeff's mind, he'd gradually torn his cup to shreds while assuring his friends that nothing was bothering him. Now, an hour later, he still can't shake the thought of those hippie hands on Annie.

Despite knowing he should mind his own business, Jeff casually leans forward to pick up his pen. He tilts his head toward Annie as he whispers, "So Vaughn's back."

Still gazing ahead, she nods. "Yeah."

Jeff's fingers tighten around his pen as he pulls off the cap. Realizing Annie isn't going to respond further, he prompts, "Quite a surprise."

She nods again, staring at the front of the room where Duncan continues struggling and muttering colorful British euphemisms at the screen.

Jeff aims to keep his voice nonchalant as he scribbles nonsense into his notebook. "What did you talk about?"

She shrugs. "Nothing really."

Jeff nods and watches Duncan's strife for a few seconds. "So... " Jeff scratches the pen frantically against the page, writing nothing but a thick, haphazard, black line. "Are you... I don't know... Are you getting back together or anything?"

Jeff stops writing when Annie turns toward him. Her cheek rests on her palm, and a smile plays at the corner of her lips as she asks, "Jeff, do you actually care about my love life?"

"I uh..." Jeff stammers as he leans back in his seat. He shrugs and opens his mouth to plead complete indifference. Just as he's about to announce his lack of interest, he halts at the thought of Vaughn's filthy, hemp-stained fingers on Annie's naked skin. He exhales and tilts his head back before deciding to finally man up and confess that yes, he cares. He cares so much he hasn't thought about anything else for the last hour.

He leans forward, prepared to finally own up to his jealousy. He meets Annie's eyes, Annie's sweet, hopeful, innocent eyes and with a sinking feeling in his stomach, he realizes he can't go through with it. She deserves better than Jeff. As much as Vaughn is completely unworthy of Annie, so is Jeff. At least Vaughn is willing to give her the relationship she deserves.

He looks at his notebook and says instead, "I'm willing to listen."

She smiles, nods, and opens her Anthropology textbook. She flips through several pages before she says, "He told me I was his inspiration for making the national team."

"Oh," Jeff mutters as he makes an effort to write random anthropology terms in his notebook rather than let himself get carried away again.

She continues looking at her textbook as she adds, "He came back for me."

"That's... uh... that's..." His pen rapidly scratches the page once again. He takes a deep breath and stills his hand before he puts on a smile. "Congratulations."

She shrugs one shoulder and casts her eyes toward him. "Thanks, but I told him I need to think about it."

"Oh!" Jeff responds.

The question "why" rings through Jeff's head, but uncertain whether it's best for either of them to hear the answer, he hesitates to ask.

"Hey, guys," Jeff hears from his right. He looks up to see Rich sliding into the seat in front of him. "Jeff, you look terrible. Are you feeling all right?"

* * *

As Jeff leaves his final class and heads toward his car, he sees a football sailing through the air on the opposite side of the quad. Not unusual. What Jeff finds odd is the crowd standing nearby erupting in cheers when the ball is successfully caught.

Drawing closer to the scene, Jeff isn't surprised to discover Abed, Pavel, and Garrett behind cameras following the action. Scanning the crowd, Jeff spots a familiar blond figure and navigates his way toward her.

As he approaches, he asks, "What are they doing?"

Britta glances over her shoulder at him. "Promotional video."

"For what?"

"The school. It's their volunteer work."

Jeff watches as Troy draws his arm back to launch the football through the air yet again. Looking down the "field", Jeff notices the receiver is none other than Doc Potterywood. And though he can't be sure it isn't just a reflection, Jeff thinks the football is blinking.

"Why is Rich in it?"

Britta rolls her eyes and replies, "Don't ask me. I wasn't in charge of casting. He has the acting skills of Dane Cook."

Jeff narrows his eyes in suspicion at Britta's bitterness. "Why are you still here?"

She grins. "I'm the female lead."

"What? Britta, why? You don't need to do this phony charity stuff for phony money. You're in the auction."

"This is like the hundredth film Abed has asked me to be in. I felt bad turning him down again. You should have heard his speech about how it's inconsistent for 'my character' to refuse to be in any of his films when I encouraged him to follow his dream at the beginning of last 'season'. Whatever that means." Britta shrugs. "Plus, he promised to make my role empowering to women."

As Rich walks back toward Troy with the ball, Jeff notices a flicker of light coming off of it once again. "Is that football blinking?"

"Football?"

"Britta!" Rich waves in their direction. "We're ready for you," he calls out.

"Well, I've got to go diffuse a bomb," Britta says as she jogs toward the cameras.

"Bomb?"


	2. Chapter 2

When Jeff enters the school gym, the first person - or thing - he encounters is the genderless Greendale Human Being wearing a frilly pink skirt. As it hands him a flier describing the auction, Jeff wonders if the skirt is supposed to signify that it's female, and if so, why its new wardrobe doesn't include a shirt. He also wonders with some degree of revulsion whether its going to be auctioned off, and which of the desperate men of Greendale would be pathetic enough to bid on it. Jeff's money is on Pierce.

The usual stage, set up at the center of the gym, is surrounded by numerous Greendale students. Jeff scans the room for his friends but comes up empty. Muttering to himself what he'll do to the others if he's the only one to show, Jeff makes his way through the crowd toward the refreshment table. As he crosses the room, he spots a woman with wavy brunette hair setting out a stack of napkins and arranging snack trays. Jeff's eyes skim over her green halter dress, noting how it hugs her hips and flows down to just above her calves. As one piece of Jeff's brain reaches into his now rarely-used repertoire of pick-ups, another section wonders when the dean hired a new assistant.

She looks up, and Jeff halts, nearly staggering backward. Staring back at him is the face of a woman he hasn't seen since she refused to give him her name or number months ago. How had the waitress he'd met while intoxicated ended up at Greendale?

Partly ecstatic, partly petrified, Jeff's stomach flips. She's watching him with concern etched on her brow. He smiles and raises his hand in a brief wave.

She smiles back then waves him over and goes back to arranging the trays as if encountering him again is no big deal. Jeff stares, dumbfounded as he slowly crosses the remaining distance.

Rich comes up behind her carrying a tray of cookies and places it into a newly cleared space on the table. Jeff's eyes narrow when he sees her touch his elbow as though they know each other well. They exchange smiles and words Jeff can't hear. He feels a pang of suspicion and jealousy as Rich walks away.

She turns back toward Jeff, bouncing and excitedly waving him over with both arms in a manner that screams "Annie". Jeff studies her face from his closer vantage point and quickly realizes that the woman at the refreshment table is none other than the youngest member of his study group.

Jeff shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair as he laughs at himself. Annie must have gone home after class to change clothes and get made up for the auction. Her hair is different, and she's wearing more eye make-up than usual. She looks incredible.

Jeff exhales a deep breath. Until now, he'd forgotten about that particular drunk delusion. He hadn't even thought about the woman who resembled Annie in several weeks. Annie would kill him if she knew he'd just mistaken her for a waitress he'd slept with.

"You have to try these cookies!" Annie exclaims when he reaches the table.

He takes the napkin she extends to him. "Let me guess. Rich made them," Jeff says flatly, still a bit distracted by both the mistaken identity and the potential flirting between the doctor and Annie.

"Yeah. They're amazing!" When Jeff fails to respond, she insists, "Come on. Eat it."

Unsuccessfully trying to block out his thoughts about Annie's dress, he takes a bite. It's like chocolate caramel heaven in his mouth. "Not bad." He swallows and sets the rest of the cookie on the table. A strange, lingering feeling remains in his gut from the sight of Annie and Rich looking so close. "You and Rich seem pretty friendly again."

Her eyelashes flutter before she tilts her head and lifts one shoulder. "He turned me down for a date. He didn't poison my hypothetical dog." She's as bubbly as ever as she reaches under the table and pulls out a stack of plastic cups. "He's still a great guy. I'm not so petty that I can't forgive and forget."

Jeff nods, telling himself to ignore the adoration in her voice. He has no place being jealous. Annie can - and should - have feelings for anyone she likes. Rich, Vaughn, Mark Ruffalo. It's none of Jeff's business.

As she separates the cups to arrange them in a neat line of smaller stacks, she leans over and inadvertently reveals an intriguing amount of skin. Jeff swallows and directs his eyes to the punch bowl.

She continues, "Stop pretending you don't like him. I noticed you two were pretty chummy for awhile."

He casts his gaze back at her and laughs. "Chummy?"

"Yes, chummy." Her lips curve upward, and she challenges him with her eyes. "People still use that word."

Jeff smirks, "Uh huh."

"Whatever," she responds, obviously trying to stifle a grin. "Quit distracting from the point."

He shrugs. "I briefly thought he had his winning points, but I can't get past how annoying he is."

Annie lets a laugh escape. "He's not that bad."

He knows he should come up with a witty retort to illustrate Rich's obnoxiousness, but watching Annie smiling at him in that dress, Jeff can't seem to formulate a reply. Instead, he says the thing that's been plaguing his mind since he saw her. "You look beautiful."

She freezes. Her cheeks take on a pinkish hue as her eyes dart downward. "Thank you." She fusses with her neck line. "My aunt gave me this dress. I never had the guts to wear it-" She stops as if she just realized what she's saying, and she focuses on Jeff. "You look..."

"Under-dressed compared to you," he finishes, looking down at his jeans and grey button down shirt.

"Well, no one is bidding on you. So considering... you look great."

"Thanks," he replies as he watches her pull out a box of sporks. He only half-heartedly attempts to avoid catching a glimpse of her cleavage. "Do you need help?"

She tears the top off the box and sets it in an empty spot exactly its size. "Nope all done," she says, gesturing at the entire spread.

As Annie beams at him, Jeff's lips curl upward. He feels the urge to reach over the table and pull her mouth to his. However, the moment is interrupted by the sound of someone blowing into a microphone.

"Check. Check."

Jeff takes a last look at Annie before he turns toward the stage. She comes around the table to stand next to him.

"Hello, students of Greendale!" Dean Pelton announces. "Welcome to our bachelorette auction. I'd like to thank everyone for coming. Before we start, I have a brief announcement. I'm glad to see so many of you carrying fistfuls of what we referred to until now as greenbacks, however, I was recently informed that 'greenback' is offensive to the Irish."

In response to the collective confusion of the crowd, the dean replies, "I know. Can you believe it? I had no idea either."

Jeff looks down at Annie, who shares Jeff's confused expression.

The dean continues, "We've also been getting a lot of feedback that we don't cater to our students from India and of Indian descent. So after extensive Wikipedia research, in which I discovered they prefer to be called Native Americans, we've decided to rename Greendale's currency in honor of this neglected segment of our student body."

"Oh geez," Jeff mutters.

"So get your wampum ready!" Dean Pelton shouts. "The bidding starts in five minutes."

Annie looks up at Jeff. "Wampum? Is that word offensive?"

He shakes his head. "After this long at Greendale, I don't even know."

As the dean attempts to step away from the microphone, it becomes apparent he's managed to get tangled in the cable. Jeff watches the dean unravel himself, and he remembers the rest of his wacky band of misfits is still missing.

"Where is everybody?"

Annie watches the dean stumbling around the stage as she answers, "Britta and Shirley are getting ready in the bathroom. Troy and Abed are editing their movie. Pierce is probably with them, still trying to get Abed to give him a role." She nods toward the door Rich had exited earlier. "Rich went to get them."

Jeff casts his eyes toward Annie as he notices the warmth of her shoulder against his arm. He smiles as he allows himself to remember kissing her after an event not that different from this one. Momentarily, he wishes the two of them were alone, and he could do anything he wanted with no consequences to his actions.

But they aren't, and there are always consequences, so instead, he stuffs the thought away and asks, "Make any decisions about Vaughn?"

She shakes her head. "Not really. One on hand, we had a good relationship. On the other, if we were right together, why didn't I go to Delaware with him?" She's silent for a few seconds then sighs. "Maybe I never loved him enough to make it last."

Jeff nods and feels a wave of relief involuntarily pass over him.

His solace is short-lived as Annie continues, "It's hard to just turn him down though. He's really sweet, writing me songs and sending me flowers." She giggles fondly. "He sent me gifts in every one of my classes today. I had to ask him to stop and give me some space to think about things."

Jeff's stomach twists. He has a fleeting impulse to shake Annie and insist she banish any thought of getting back with Vaughn from her head. Yet he knows if he even made a slight implication that he disapproved of their relationship, Annie would demand he explain himself. She would see right through him, and unless he's finally willing to give her the relationship she deserves, she would be furious with Jeff for once again selfishly interfering.

Not for the first time, Jeff wonders whether the greater of two evils is to watch Annie with another man or to risk hurting her by subjecting her to the likes of Jeff Winger. As Jeff continues his internal debate, the dean interrupts his thoughts.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to start the auction. Get ready for our first bachelorette!"

"Oh no! I'm supposed to be in line," Annie exclaims as she rushes off, leaving Jeff to silently wonder if he'd just missed the perfect opportunity to ask Annie to forget about Vaughn and give him a second chance instead.

"Hey, Jeff."

Jeff turns to see Abed and Troy arrive, both with green slips of paper in their hands. "Hey," he answers, noticing Troy already has food in his mouth.

"These cookies are amazing!" Troy exclaims through a mouthful.

Jeff nods as he watches the first bachelorette climb on stage. "How's the movie going?"

"Almost finished." Changing topics, Abed states, "Rich has quite a pile of these greenbacks."

"The dean is calling them wampum now," Jeff corrects.

"Hm. Is that offensive?"

"It is if you heard the whole announcement," Jeff informs as he notices Britta and Shirley next to each other, near the front of the line of bachelorettes.

"Sounds scary," Troys says with a cookie sticking out of his mouth, counting his handful of lime green paper.

"Rich has a lot." Abed repeats. "He's planning to buy a certain member of our study group."

"Hm," Jeff mutters as his eyes move from the stage to Annie, standing in the back half of the line. When Abed's words finally register, Jeff whips his head around. "What? Did he say that?"

"Yep. His exact words."

Jeff looks to Troy for confirmation, but he receives only cookie-muffled mumbles.

"Why?" He searches the crowd for Rich. "That doesn't make sense."

Abed shrugs as the dean pronounces the blonde sold for fifteen hundred wampum.

Jeff struggles to figure out Rich's game. Maybe Mr. Perfect isn't so perfect after all. Maybe he changed his mind when he saw how beautiful and well... frankly, how sexy Annie looks in that green dress. Maybe Rich is just a sadist who's trying to mess with the poor girl's head. Whatever the reason, Jeff won't let Rich get away with it. Jeff clenches his jaw and stares at the stage.

"I need money."

From beside him, Abed declares, "Get your own."

* * *

Jeff walks into the empty hallway and heads toward the banner that once read "greenbacks", but with the aide of a magic marker, now reads "wampum". Jeff groans when he sees a certain, overly enthusiastic, day-seizing professor standing behind the table.

As Jeff approaches, Professor Whitman calls, "Jeff Winger! Excellent to see you! Have you purchased yourself a lovely lady this evening?"

Jeff forces a smile. "That's exactly what I'm here to see you about." The professor's eyebrows raise, and Jeff explains, "I need some auction money."

"No problem! That's what I'm here for." He holds his hand out toward Jeff. "Just pass me your voucher, and I'll have you bidding in a jiffy."

"Yeah." Jeff stuffs his hands into his jeans pockets and looks around to make sure they're alone. "Here's the problem. I don't have a voucher."

Whitman's eyes pop open in surprise. "They didn't give you a voucher for your volunteer work?"

"Here's the other problem." Jeff takes a step forward. "I didn't do any."

The professor's back straightens and his eyes narrow. "Then why are you here?"

Jeff leans in as he prepares to use his rusty powers of manipulation. "I need a favor. Your initial impulse is going to be to say no, but before you respond, I want you to take a moment and consider seizing this opportunity to help a fellow human being in need."

"Jeffrey, what are you asking?"

His face remains serious as he declares, "I'll give you fifty bucks for ten thousand of those things."

Whitman's mouth drops open. "Jeffrey!"

"A hundred?"

Professor Whitman lowers his voice. "I can't do that. That is dishonest, and frankly, I'm appalled."

"Gah," Jeff utters and plants his face in his palms. He takes a deep breath and decides on another tactic. "Fine. I promise to clean chalkboards and erase penises from textbooks later."

Whitman crosses his arms over his chest. "That would hardly be fair to everyone else who had to finish their charity work first."

Jeff tosses his head back and glares at the ceiling. "There is no charity. Stop saying it's for charity!"

Whitman takes a step back. "Well somebody is quite the sour puss."

Jeff scrubs his face with one hand. "Professor, please just give me the stupid fake money."

"You mean wampum."

Jeff slams his hands on the table. "I am not calling it that!"

Whitman jumps. "Jeffrey, what has gotten into you?"

Jeff sighs and his shoulders slump. "I need to buy someone."

"Ooh! Does infamous ladies man, Jeff Winger have an unrequited crush?"

"Yes. No!" Jeff hangs his head as he leans against the table. "It's not like that. I just need to keep her from being bought by a jerk and getting hurt again."

Whitman smiles. "Now why didn't you say so in the first place. I'd have to be a heartless monster not to help with such a noble cause." He reaches into a small metal box and pulls out two short stacks of bills. "Here, I can spare two thousand without the dean noticing. It'll cost you twenty hours of work," Whitman leans in and whispers, "but you can do it later."

* * *

Jeff walks into the gym, stuffing his newly acquired bills into his back pocket as the dean pronounces another bachelorette sold.

As Dean Pelton guides the newly-purchased female toward the steps at the front of the stage, he declares, "By the way, you slackers taking too long to pay up. So you now have a time limit of sixty seconds to make your way to the fulfillment table or the next highest bidder wins. Not that we don't trust you-" He looks toward the professor sitting at the table to the right of the stage before correcting, "Oh, I'm sorry. It is that we don't trust you."

"You just missed it," Abed states as Jeff steps next to him.

"Missed what?"

Abed nods toward the stage. "Rich's bid. He won."

"What!" Jeff's eyes dart to the line. Annie is still there. His eyebrows knit as he glares at Abed.

"Yeah. He bought Britta," Troy explains. "He bid six thousand right off the bat. Nobody else could even bid. It was gangster."

Jeff stares at the stage. As he processes Troy's words, his shoulders relax. He almost laughs at his own mistake.

Abed tilts his head as he says, "You don't seem upset. The way you reacted earlier, I thought you'd be more bothered by the news."

Grinning, Jeff replies, "Yeah. I um..."

"You didn't realize I was talking about Britta," Abed finishes. He tilts his head and seems to scrutinized Jeff. "Rich made it pretty clear he was interested in her. He said she reminded him of his mother. Did I not accurately convey that message?"

Jeff stares at Abed, wondering if the younger man had misled him on purpose.

"You thought I meant Annie," Abed declares.

Jeff's face freezes before he scoffs. "No, I didn't."


	3. Chapter 3

"Another one sold," Dean Pelton announces, standing next to a petite girl with a pixie haircut. He puts an arm over her shoulder and leans down to her eye level. "How fun for you!" He gives her a light nudge on the back to direct her off the stage. Watching her head for the stairs, he tilts his head and adds quietly, "Ah. I wish I was a bachelorette."

As the dean turns toward the next woman up for auction, Jeff hears the familiar voices of Britta and Shirley. He spots them making their way to the rear of the gym to join the group. Shirley is all smiles, while Britta shakes her head and scowls. With her arms crossed, Britta storms past and takes a place at Jeff's right. Shirley giggles and hugs Troy and Abed.

Before Jeff can ask why Shirley seems so giddy, Britta erupts, "You were right. Rich is creepy!"

"Told you so," Jeff says triumphantly.

"And he is not perfect!" she continues. She leans past Jeff and shouts to Abed. "He couldn't even get his lines right."

"He had all the lines right," Abed corrects. "Even yours."

Britta rolls her eyes and insists, "That smug grin was not in the script."

Abed acknowledges, "That's technically accurate."

"Every time I got a single word wrong, he had to correct me. Who the hell is he to tell me how to do my lines?" Britta turns to Jeff as she continues, "I thought you just hated him because he's better looking than you, but he really is obnoxious and... disturbing. Nobody is that perfect!" She almost sounds apologetic as she adds, "I should have believed to you. "

"Uh..." Jeff crosses his arms over his chest. "Thanks."

"No problem." She grabs a cookie off the refreshment before table continuing, "I got so sick of his smug superiority I wanted to strangle him. Instead, I told him he was a talentless slug who wasn't worth the air he was sucking down." She takes a bite of the cookie. "I think he got off on it! Tell me that's not creepy." She frowns and shakes her head. "I can't believe I have to go on a date with him."

Jeff peers down at her. "Can't you just... I don't know... not go?"

She's silent for a moment, then she shrugs. "I can put up with him for a free social studies credit. One date won't kill me, right?" Her voice is defiant as she amends, "But as an American citizen, I still have the right to speak my mind about how much I'm going to hate it."

Jeff's jaw drops. "You get a social studies credit?"

"Shit!" Britta mutters. "I forgot I wasn't supposed to tell the men."

"I knew you weren't doing this for charity!" Jeff declares, filing the information away for future use. Maybe he can get a free credit for himself out of their weaselly dean.

"Sold for five hundred wampum!" Dean Pelton howls. "That's such a fun word to say. Wampum!" The dean turns and looks toward the line of ladies next to the stage. "Who do we have next?" As Annie climbs the steps, he announces. "Ah. Annie Edison!" After looking past her toward the rest of the line, he cups his hand over one side of his mouth and lowers his voice. "Just a word of advice to the bidders. This is the last of the good ones. If you haven't won yet, bid now. It's all down hill from here."

"Hey, we can hear you," someone yells from the line.

Dean Pelton speaks directly into the microphone as he responds, "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know." Then he turns toward Annie and exuberantly asks, "Who'll give me one hundred wampum for Ms. Edison?"

"One hundred!" a voice calls out. Jeff can't see the voice's source but recognizes it as the allergic mess otherwise known as Garrett.

"Two hundred!" another voice which Jeff doesn't recognize shouts.

"Three hundred!" Garrett responds.

Jeff smiles at the idea of Annie on a date with Garrett. Had he ever even talked to Annie before? Would he know what to say to a girl?

"Pop pop!"

"I'm going to take that as a bid of four hundred for Magnitude," the dean announces.

"Pop pop," Magnitude responds with a nod.

Jeff continues observing the scene, amused by the thought of Annie sitting in a fancy restaurant, attempting to conduct a conversation but receiving only a single, repeated word in response.

As Jeff entertains himself with the idea of Annie's terrible potential dates, he realizes he's genuinely not jealous or upset. He's actually one hundred percent fine with her going on a date with these guys. Jeff smiles, content with himself in the fact that all along he hasn't been jealous. He's just been protective. Proudly showing Abed how wrong his earlier implication had been, Jeff glances to his friend to meet his gaze.

Abed gives him a thumbs up, and Jeff narrows his eyes, wondering what exactly was going on in the other man's mind.

"Five hundred," calls another voice. Jeff turns back toward the stage, and this time he sees a hand raised in the crowd. It's a male hand wearing a thumb ring, attached to a forearm with a small tattoo of some Chinese symbol just above the sleeve of a pushed up gray thermal shirt. Jeff follows the arm to a head of thick, strategically messy, dark hair. Beneath those locks, which Jeff begrudgingly admits to himself are more expertly styled than his own, is a dimpled face adorned with a pencil mustache and soul patch.

"Who the hell is that?" Jeff asks.

"Toby," Abed replies. "He's a theater major. He starred in my 'Edward Scissorhands' homage, 'Jacob Rockfeet', the story of a man persecuted by society for his poor dancing. He's also a vampire."

"How does he know Annie?"

"He's a character in a movie, Jeff. He doesn't know anybody."

"Toby."

"Oh." Abed shrugs. "I don't think he does."

Jeff looks up at the stage and sees Annie blushing with a coy smile across her lips and her shoulders pushed forward, enhancing her bust line as she gazes down at her bidder. Suddenly, her potential date no longer seems amusing in the face of this artistically sensitive bad boy whom Jeff is certain can pick up women without even saying hello.

"Six hundred," Jeff blurts out before he stops to think about the reasons he shouldn't.

"There you are, Jeffrey," the dean interjects as he waves. "My, you look fit this evening. Who makes that shirt? It hugs you so well."

From Jeff's right, Britta asks, "What are you doing?"

"Saving her," Jeff responds, noticing Annie's surprised expression as she stares back at him.

"From what, catching a case of sexy-itis?" Britta taunts as she eyes Toby. "You don't even have any wampum."

"Yes, I do."

"Since when?"

"Since none of your business."

Britta glares at him and crosses her arms.

"Don't worry about it, Jeffrey. I'll check your tag later," Dean Pelton continues. "I'm sorry. I lost track. Where were we?"

"Seven hundred," Garrett shouts in exasperation.

"Okay, seven hundred for Garrett. Do I hear eight?"

"Eight hundred," Mr. Dangerously Handsome offers.

"Nine hundred," Jeff says, ignoring the glare he knows Britta is still giving him.

"Jeff, why are you bidding on Annie?" Troy asks as he leans in front of Abed. "She'd probably go out with you if you just ask."

"I don't want to date Annie," Jeff snaps.

Troy looks at Abed. "What does he think he's bidding on?"

"One thousand," says a voice Jeff distinctly recognizes.

Jeff grits his teeth and says under his breath, "Starburns!" Compared to him, the wannabe actor might as well be Prince Charming. Jeff won't let Annie be subjected to that kind of trauma.

With only two thousand, Jeff realizes one of these walking hazards to female kind might be able to out bid him. "Abed, give me your money!"

Pulling out his front pockets to illustrate, Abed responds, "I don't have any."

Jeff's eyes dart over Abed as if to discover the missing cash. "What happened to it?"

"Troy and I bought Shirley. I know you were supposed to bid on her, but since you were preoccupied, we pooled our money so she'd sell for more than anyone else. She said it was nice."

As Jeff hears the bidding increase to twelve hundred, he groans. He puts on a smile before turning to his other side.

"Britta, I need money."

"Well don't look at me. I can't even pay my own rent. I'm not about to pay yours."

"What?" His smile disappears. "No! Give me your stupid wampum."

She shakes her head. "Sorry, I don't have any."

"Didn't you get paid for the movie?"

"Yeah, but I gave it all to Abed."

"Ugh," Jeff mutters, growing impatient as he hears Toby raise the bid to fifteen hundred. There's no way Annie should date a guy with a mustache like that.

Jeff's eyes drift to Shirley, who replies, "Don't look at me. I have money, but I think what you're doing is inappropriate."

"You'd rather see her with Jack Sparrow over there!"

"Please," Shirley objects. "Toby is a nice boy. This isn't about him. You need to get those ideas about Annie out of your head. She's too young for you, Jeffrey."

"Shirley, I'm not trying to date Annie."

Shirley's voice deepens. "That makes it even more inappropriate. You have no business leading that girl on again."

Jeff clenches his jaw. "Shirley, I'm just trying-" Jeff begins to insist, but is interrupted by Britta.

"Come on, Jeff. We're not idiots." She crosses her arms and lectures, "Pretending you don't have feelings for her just makes you seem like a jerk."

Jeff looks back at Troy and Abed who nod in agreement.

"Fine," Jeff says and takes a breath. "Shirley, I would like to take Annie on a date. As a bonus, I would also like more than anything to keep her away from the worst Greendale has to offer. Will you please, as my friend, help me?"

Shirley clutches her bag to her chest and scowls at Jeff until Britta nudges her with her elbow and nods.

"Fine," Shirley says as she reaches into her bag. "I have seven hundred. But that doesn't mean I like this."

"Thank you, Shirley," Jeff replies as he takes the money from her hand.

The bidding is slower, but Jeff realizes he still might not have enough when he hears Garrett say, "Twenty three hundred."

The dean calls, "I have twenty three hundred. Do I hear twenty four?"

"Twenty four," Jeff says.

"Jeff? You're bidding again?" Dean Pelton sounds disappointed as he says, "Ms. Edison, you're quite a lucky lady."

Jeff glances around the room for someone with additional money. Abed catches his eye and points to a spot slightly to the left of the stage. Jeff follows his gaze to find Pierce. Jeff pushes his way through the crowd until he reaches his elderly friend. "Pierce, how much fake money have you got?"

"Sixteen hundred," Pierce answers.

"Give it to me," Jeff demands as he hears Toby bid twenty five hundred.

"No way! I couldn't afford Brittles, but I've got my eye on that one," he responds, pointing to a middle-aged, blond woman standing in line.

Jeff rolls his eyes. "You know they don't have to have sex with you right?"

"They don't? Then what the hell is the point of this!" Pierce yells loud enough that everyone looks at him.

Pierce thrusts his wad of bills into Jeff's chest as he storms off toward the back of the room. Jeff smiles, feeling comfortable that forty three hundred will be more than enough to win Annie.

"Twenty six hundred," Jeff shouts.

"Twenty seven," Garrett says.

"Twenty eight," Jeff counters.

Jeff sees Garrett near the front of the stage, counting a pile of bills.

"Do I hear twenty nine?" Dean Pelton asks.

Toby holds his hands up in defeat, and Jeff lips curl upward. For the first time since he started bidding, he takes a moment to think, and he realizes it's exhilarating. Not the auction or the bidding, but the possibility of getting his feelings out in the open, of no longer denying them to himself, his friends, or Annie. It's like the moment he locks eyes with a juror and realizes he's got them in the palm of his hand, except he feels more alive and more like Annie's the one who's got him in her palm.

Jeff looks up at Annie. When she meets his eyes, she mouths, "What are you doing?"

He smiles a genuine, unguarded smile and raises his hands in an over the top shrug.

"Twenty nine," Garrett declares triumphantly, waving his bills.

"Three thousand," Jeff says without looking away from Annie. He notices her cheeks start to flush.

When no one offers another bid, Dean Pelton announces, "I've got three thousand. Do I hear thirty one hundred?"

Garrett's shoulder's slump, and he hangs his head. In any other circumstance, Jeff might feel bad for the guy.

"Going once," the dean says when there are no further takers.

Jeff smiles as Annie looks at him with confusion written across her features.

"Going twice."

"Four thousand," comes from the back of the room.

Everyone turns. Jeff frowns when he sees the douche bag, hippie he had temporarily forgotten to worry about.

"What a grand gesture!" Dean Pelton exclaims.

"Forty three hundred," Jeff says, knowing that's his max, but hoping the stupid stoner has reached his as well.

"Five thousand," Vaughn responds.

"Shit," Jeff mutters then decides to throw the rules to hell. "Six thousand!"

The entire room turns toward Vaughn, who dejectedly shakes his head. Jeff exhales sharply and rolls his head back to bask in his victory.

"I have six thousand. Going once." Silence. "Going twice." Silence. "Sold to Jeff Winger!" The dean gives Annie a shove toward the steps as he continues, "Please pay up at the table to my right. Remember, you have sixty seconds or she goes to the next highest bidder." He turns toward the line of remaining women. "Wow. That was exciting. Who do we have next?"

Jeff watches Annie descend the steps. Fresh off his bidding rush, Jeff is eager to talk to her before he comes to his senses and convinces himself otherwise. He had forgotten about the stupid time limit. Jeff pulls his eyes away from her. He has sixty seconds to keep Annie from going on a date with Vaughn. No problem, he tells himself. It hadn't taken him very long to get forty three. He can get another seventeen hundred in two minutes, then he'll talk to Annie. Jeff looks around for a patsy he can manipulate for money, and his eyes immediately dart to Garrett. Jeff wades through the crowd to the front of the stage where the young man is camped out.

"Hey, Garrett. Nice bidding. I was wondering..." Placing his hand on the other man's shoulder, Jeff asks, "Is it just Annie you were interested in, or are there other women you might want to date? Anyone I might be able to help hook you up with, like Britta or... Britta?"

Garrett seems out of breath as he replies, "I was hoping for a brunette or a red head."

Jeff nods, not letting on the fact that he doesn't know any women off-hand he could get to date Garrett. "You're in luck. I think I can arrange that."

Garrett eyes Jeff suspiciously. "Why would you help me?"

Jeff puts on his best "I'm your pal" smile and answers, "Just to make up for out bidding you."

Garrett turns back toward the stage and tosses back angrily, "I don't need your pity."

Jeff leans in close. "Look, I over bid. I need another seventeen hundred. I'll give you whatever you want for it. Money, dates, anything."

Garrett's eyes go big, and Jeff immediately knows he's made a mistake.

"He doesn't have the money! Jeff Winger doesn't have the money!"

"Shut up," Jeff growls as he feels hundreds of eyes upon him.


	4. Chapter 4

"Anybody? One hundred. Anybody?" Dean Pelton's amplified voice echoes through the walls. "Do I hear one hundred wampum?" A pause. "One hundred?" There's a longer pause and the dean's voice slips into desperation. "Come on people! This is the last one. Let's just get this over with. How about fifty?"

Doing his best to tune out the deans pleas for bids, Jeff shakes his head as he stares at the ceiling. Immediately after his embarrassing loss to Vaughn, Jeff had left the gym. He should have gone home. Instead, he had wondered the halls until he found a place out of sight.

Jeff could come up with a hundred excuses for why he hadn't gotten in his car and left, but at the moment, he doesn't have the energy to lie even to himself. The plain and simple fact is that he's alone in this room on this table because he hoped Annie would find him. It sort of became their thing... at least Jeff thought it had... until Annie didn't hold up her end of the... thing.

At first, Jeff was going to wait just ten minutes. Ten turned into twenty. Twenty into thirty... into an hour. Now, he had waited too long. With the auction almost over, people would be filing out. He could no longer leave without being spotted and mocked on the way to his car.

Jeff runs a hand through his hair, angry that he made a complete fool of himself in front of the entire school. Granted, this wasn't the first time he had been embarrassed before all of Greendale, but this was the first time he had no one to blame but himself. He'd acted like a love sick teenager or worse, a character from a cheesy romcom. He just hopes to God that it wasn't one played by Ashton Kutcher.

This is why Jeff hates romantic comedies. Despite their cutesy, fairy tale endings, if you throw an ice cold bucket of reality on any of them, this is how they would really end.

Why had he left himself get carried away like that? Jeff wants to blame Abed for dragging him into yet another movie parody. Stupid Abed! If he hadn't tricked Jeff into getting that fake money in the first place, he probably would have kept his mouth shut.

Jeff's thoughts drift back to Annie's flirty grin directed at the kid whom Jeff has decided to dub "poor man's Johnny Depp". Jeff's stomach knots even though he knows Vaughn outbid the guy. That reminds Jeff of the even worse knots in his stomach after he'd seen Vaughn grinning and making a bee-line for Annie once he realized Jeff couldn't pay up. Okay, Jeff realizes, maybe he wouldn't have kept quiet, but somehow Abed still owes him for this.

"Please, people!" Dean Pelton's words burst forth loud enough to interrupt Jeff's thoughts. "It's just fifty wampum."

Jeff half wishes he were in the gym to see which poor bachelorette he should feel sorry for now.

He feels his phone vibrate. Pushing down the hope threatening to bubble to the surface, he scrambles to pull the phone from his pocket. Then he sees the text is not what he had wanted to receive. It's just Britta asking where he's gone. Jeff sighs as he lets his head sink back, and the phone slips out of his fingers onto the table.

He grinds his last slivers of optimism to dust. Annie isn't going to come looking for him tonight. That's just Jeff's luck. He finally got the balls to admit that yes, he, Jeff Winger actually likes a girl - not just to have sex with her - only to find out she's already given up on him. It leaves a shallow ache in his chest.

If Annie still felt about him the way he was finally willing to admit he did for her, she would have looked for him. Hell, she would at least call. Bitterly, Jeff admits to himself that he was right to keep her at a distance. He should never have put his feelings on display for everyone to see. Jeff doesn't even care that he's being melodramatic. Only the walls and himself are here to judge him right now, and the walls can screw themselves... or whatever the equivalent is for walls. This table is reserved for a pity party of one.

How arrogant is Jeff that he thought it was his choice? He assumed that because he had gotten past his hang-ups, Annie would be his. In his bidding frenzy, he hadn't even considered that she might not want him anymore. Well, he'd considered it many times. Often, he'd even hoped for it, for her to move on. But deep down, Jeff had never really believed she would. Now, he's alone in this dusty space, left to face the fact that he made an ass out of himself for her, and she didn't come after him.

Jeff puts his hands under his head as he blinks away moisture, which is definitely not a tear threatening to form at the corner of his eye.

He lets out a sardonic chuckle. Well, he got what he deserved. Annie is rekindling her romance with her ex, and Jeff knows it's the universe's way of paying him back for screwing her over in the first place. It's payback for all the women Jeff has wronged. That's the classic narrative, right? The asshole heart-breaker finally gets his heart broken. For once, Jeff wishes he were Abed. Maybe he would have seen it coming.

Jeff isn't sure what it will take live this embarrassment down, or how he's going to explain his behavior to his friends. Maybe he'll blame it on an overdose of some psychotropic drug. Maybe he can convince Abed to back him up if he claims he did it for one of the other man's films. Maybe he'll skip classes for a week or two and everyone will just forget the whole incident.

Of course, what would be the point if he just does something stupid like that again?

If he's going to hold on to even a tiny shred of his street cred or sanity, Jeff knows he needs to stop thinking about the certain young woman who'd made him temporarily lose his mind. He needs to take Shirley's advice and put away the idea of being with Annie for good.

"Sold for ten wampum!" Dean Pelton's voice erupts. "Finally!

_Finally_, Jeff's repeats silently as he admits to himself that lying on this table has become torture. Despite the fact that he knows Annie isn't coming and despite his attempts to quash them, those tiny particles of hope have still been floating around his head. He still hasn't fully given up hope that he'll hear the door creak open and her voice call, "Are you in here?"

Jeff sits up and swings his legs off the table. He reaches for his phone. Time to quit wallowing. After all, it won't be too hard to explain the whole thing away. He's Jeff Winger. He can explain away anything. He'll dodge the issue, talk himself out of what he can't dodge, put his feelings for Annie behind him, and everything will be back to normal.

* * *

Relatively sure that everyone has left Greendale for the night, Jeff walks through the empty quad. He'd spent the last fifteen minutes waiting them all out while playing his favorite pass time, Bejeweled.

As he reaches the parking lot, he sees a few cars remaining in the distance. He hopes they don't belong to anyone he knows. If they do, he prays he'll be able to make it the rest of the way without being seen. He needs lay low for a few days before having to face anyone from Greendale. That'll make it easier to let the whole thing blow over.

As he nears his own car at the front of the lot, he notices a figure lying on the hood. His first thought is that Duncan passed out drunk again, and Jeff regrets not having fixed his alarm after Chang smashed up his car. Then, Jeff sees a pair of black heels and green fabric.

He stops and has to force his heart out of his throat and into a small, indifferent box.

"Annie?"

She sits up. "Finally!" She lets her feet slide to the ground "I was looking for you. Where have you been hiding?"

Jeff starts to answer. Then he registers the first part of her statement, and he has to remind himself that he has very good reasons not to care that she looked for him. At the moment, none of them come to mind, but he's certain he has them.

He smirks sarcastically. "For once, somewhere you couldn't find me, and I'm not giving it away." He crosses the distance, stopping a few feet in front of her. He looks her up and down, hardly able to believe she's standing there. "I thought you had a date."

A small laugh escapes her lips. "The dates are all tomorrow night in the cafeteria."

He stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Really?"

"Yep. It said so on the fliers."

"I must have missed that part." His eyebrows raise for emphasis as he adds, "But it sounds very romantic."

She smiles and nods. Jeff looks around the parking lot, expecting to find they have company.

"Where's Vaughn?"

"He left."

As he studies Annie's face, Jeff feels the hope he's locked away attempt to force the lid off the box where he'd crammed it. "Yeah, but why aren't you with him?"

She scoffs and seems mildly offended as she answers, "He won a date, Jeff. He didn't win me." She waves her hand as if to dismiss the topic. "We're not getting back together."

Jeff feels the hinges threatening to break.

"You're not?" he asks before he slams the lid down again and wraps the whole damn thing in chains.

The only thing Jeff hates more than the plots of romantic comedies are their leading men. He's not about to turn into that kind of sappy loser again. Less than thirty minutes ago, inside a dusty little room, he made a decision. He's more determined than ever to finally stick to that decision.

"I asked for space, and instead, Vaughn bid on me to get a date," Annie explains. "He wasn't exactly respecting my boundaries." She tilts her head and shrugs. "Besides... I think I was leaning that way anyway. That's not really where my feelings are anymore, you know?"

"Hm," Jeff grunts, hoping if doesn't add to the conversation, she'll let him leave before his own feelings learn to pick locks and cause him to do something really stupid.

Annie rocks onto her toes then tilts her head and smiles up at Jeff. "Thanks for bidding on me."

He nods and forces himself to look only at the top of her head. "No problem."

She remains silent as if waiting for him to continue. When he doesn't she says, "Um... Why did you?"

"I..." He crosses his arms over his chest and glances at the ground, searching his brain for a good excuse. "I guess I got caught up in the auction." He puts on his best casual smirk. "Same reason I never use eBay. I'm a compulsive bidder."

Her smiles slips, and she gazes at him with hopeful eyes. "I thought there might be another reason."

He shakes his head, fighting his impulse to confess. The chains are saying put. He's keeping firm in his resolve. "Nope."

"Oh." She casts her eyes to the ground, and her saddened face almost rips away Jeff's will power.

Then Jeff notices her shiver. She's wearing a jacket over her dress, but the night air is cold, and if she's been out here long, she's probably chilled to the bone.

"How long have you been waiting for me?"

Her head bolts up. Her eyes are wide. "I wasn't waiting for you!"

He smiles at her terribly adorable lie before casting a skeptical gaze toward her. "You were on my car."

"I mean..." She laces her fingers together in front of her. "I was waiting for you, but only because..." She swallows and looks at her feet as she rocks back and forth. "Because..." She looks up at Jeff with a spark in her eye. "My car won't start!"

Jeff smirks as he replies, "I hope you don't expect me to fix it."

"No. I just..." She laughs nervously. "I um... I need to use your phone to... uh... to call a tow tr- No, a taxi. It's late. I'll just call a taxi and worry about my car in the morning."

Jeff's eyes move between her and her car. "Where's *your* phone?"

"My phone? Oh... um... I can't use my phone... because..." She looks at her car then back at Jeff. "I left it at home." She seems to be finished with the explanation until an instant later, her eyes twinkle as though she's just had a revelation. Emphatically, she adds, "Earlier... when I went to change." Looking directly at Jeff, she lifts her head with determination and smiles proudly. "Yep. That's what I did! I went home to change and forgot my phone there."

Jeff watches her, reminding himself not to find her "I'm making eye contact and I'm achieving results" stance adorable.

The proud determination in her shoulders melts off a bit, and her brows furrow. She seems to have momentarily forgotten Jeff's presence as she asks herself, "Why didn't I just use someone else's phone?"

Jeff studies her as she silently gazse at the ground for a moment. Then, looking quite proud of herself again, she raises he her head to meet his gaze.

In her "what I'm about to say is completely one hundred percent true even though it's not" voice she adds, "Everybody else was gone, because I stayed to take down decorations."

"Oh." Jeff squints at her, wondering what she's hiding and whether he really wants to know.

She smiles and nods. Speaking quickly, she summarizes her whole story. "Yeah. They were all gone, and my car wouldn't start. So, obviously without my phone or anyone else's phone, I couldn't call for help." She nods toward Jeff's Lexus. "Then I saw your car, and I came over here. That's why I was waiting on your car." She rocks onto her toes, looking very pleased with herself. "Yep. That's why. No other reason."

Without his permission, Jeff feels the corners of his mouth start to curve upward. Annie might be great at deception when the lie has been all planned out ahead of time, but she's terrible on the spot.

Jeff decides he really doesn't want to know why she went to the trouble to make up such a detailed fabrication or which parts of that fabrication are true. It's probably best for them both if he just accepts the lie.

"Oh. Okay. Well..." He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to her. "Here."

"Thanks."

She takes the phone, dials a number, and turns away as she talks to the person on the other end. While she places the taxi request, Jeff looks up at the sky and congratulates himself on finally sticking to his decision not to let Annie affect him.

"It'll be here in twenty minutes," she says as she hands him his phone. "You can go. I'll wait by myself."

Jeff steps toward his car, almost leaving her alone in a cold, dark, empty parking lot before he realizes that would be taking his resolution too far. His goal is to not have feelings for her, not be an asshole to her.

"No," he counters. "You can wait in my car. I'll turn the heater on."

"Jeff, really, it's fine. You can go."

"Annie, I'm not going to leave you alone in a parking lot in the middle of the night."

"I'll be fine. I was before you got here."

"You can argue all you want, but I'm not leaving. Despite the general consensus, I'm not a total jerk."

She sighs. "Okay."

Jeff unlocks the doors to his Lexus, and he and Annie climb inside. He turns on the engine and the heater, but cold air blows in. He quickly switches off the vents.

He pulls off his own jacket and hands it to her. "This will help until it gets warmed up."

"Thanks," she says as she takes it and places it over her legs.

He watches her gaze out the window, and he stops himself from asking what she's thinking. After several minutes, she leans back, and her eyes slide shut. He pulls his eyes away from her and stares at the steering wheel. Twenty minutes. He only has to make it through twenty minutes, he reminds himself. And it's probably closer to fifteen now. He's been doing well so far. He can keep himself from doing or saying something stupid for another fifteen minutes. Jeff glances back at Annie. Her eyes remain closed, and her head is resting against the window. A lock of hair covers most of her face, and he resists the urge to tuck the hair behind her ear.

Jeff remembers to check the heat and turns up the vents enough to discover that the air has gotten warm, so he cranks them up higher.

"Mmm. That feels good," Annie whispers, and Jeff has to shake away the image it conjures.

Annie's eyes remain closed, and Jeff watches her in silence. She looks perfect, flawless. He would watch her all night if he could, if the taxi were not on its way to get her, if he hadn't decided not to let her have any affect on him. Jeff starts to hate his own decision, but he knows it's in both of their best interests. Although, he reasons, maybe if he can keep her just a bit longer tonight, the decision would seem a bit easier to handle in the days to come.

"I'm being a jerk," he announces. "You don't need to wait for a taxi. I can drive you home," he says as he places the car in gear.

"No!" Her eyes snap open and she bolts upright. "The taxi's coming," she says through blinks. "I'm warm now. I can finish waiting in my car. Maybe it'll start if I try again."

"Too late. We've already left," he says as they head out of the parking lot. He holds out his phone. "Here. Cancel the taxi."


	5. Chapter 5

"Thank you!" Annie exhales loudly and reclines into the headrest of the passenger seat of Jeff's Lexus. "I thought I was the only one who noticed," she continues. "I didn't want to seem completely anal retentive, but if it's only wearing a skirt, that means it's walking around topless!"

Her hands move in emphasis of each syllable as she asks, "How did it not think of that?"

After an instant of silence, Annie's mouth drops open and a slight gasp escapes. Jeff glances over to see an amused, yet scandalized expression on her face. She leans toward him and lowers her voice as if someone might overhear. No one will. This late at night, normal people are either getting plastered or asleep.

"Do you think it did it on purpose?"

Jeff chuckles. Only Annie could turn the Human Being's poor wardrobe choice into a conspiracy to commit scandal. Well, plenty of people could. They just didn't stand a chance at being so adorable about it.

"I doubt-" Jeff starts to say before she cuts him off.

"Oh! Left here! Here!" Annie exclaims as she points frantically.

Jeff brakes and jerks the wheel to the left with as much finesse as he can manage in the short distance to the intersection.

"Sorry," Annie mutters, bracing herself with her hand on the dash as the car screeches to a halt at the red light. "I didn't realize we'd gone this far."

"Don't worry about it." Jeff switches to full sarcasm mode as he turns his head to look at her. "I can always get new tires."

Annie grins and fakes a wide-eyed look of sympathy. "Good. I'd hate to cause any trouble."

Jeff shoots her a glare with a poorly concealed smile. His eyes linger on hers, and he wonders why he'd ever hesitated to give her a ride home. They had only had a few minutes of awkward silence at the beginning. Once Jeff had started prodding her for details of what he'd missed of the auction, Annie stopped wringing her hands over whatever was worrying her. She became her perky, animated self.

Jeff was happy to listen while throwing out an occasional question or one liner. Minus the few times he had to remind himself to keep his eyes on the road - and the one time Annie had - the drive was a perfect example of two friends sharing an enjoyable, incident-free time together. Jeff is perfectly content to spend the rest of the night this way.

"After this, it's about a mile up on the right," Annie says, interrupting his thoughts.

"Oh," Jeff responds and hopes there wasn't a trace of disappointment reflected in his voice.

He clears his throat and checks if the light has changed. He's pleased to see it's still red. He puts on a smile and nods toward her as he returns to their previous topic.

"So they really auctioned it?"

She nods. "Yep."

"Wow." He shakes his head before adding, "I know I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, clearly it was going to happen, but for some reason, I held out hope Greendale was better than that."

Annie laughs. "To be fair, I've heard rumors that it's really a woman in the costume."

Jeff shakes his head. "I wouldn't take my chances."

"Yeah." Annie agrees. "It's probably not even costume."

Jeff nods as he recalls his solitary moments of sulking at the end of the auction. At least he's solved the mystery of the poor bachelorette who couldn't get any bids.

"It went last, right?"

Annie's eyebrows knit and she shakes her head. "No, that was Paige, the non-lesbian lesbian."

His forehead wrinkles as he glances toward Annie. "But the bid was only ten bucks."

"Yeah. She was doing some kind of protest, but the dean was taking bids anyway. I don't think he understood what was going on. It was really awkward. Starburns finally bid just to get him to stop," Annie replies with a shrug. "And it's called wampum," she corrects.

Jeff shoots her a glare. Annie returns an innocent smile.

"Sorry," she offers. "Abed told me about your irrational hatred for the term."

Jeff manages to hold onto his glare long enough to pull his eyes away and glance up at the red light.

"It's not irrational."

Jeff feels Annie's eyes focus intently on him. He glances right to find her studying him with a curious look on her face.

"How did you know about the bid? You said you didn't see the rest of the auction."

"I... uh..."

He returns to staring out the front window. He sees green light reflecting off the hood of his car. He glances up to confirm the signal has changed. Jeff remains nonchalant as he moves his foot from the brake to the accelerator.

"I heard a bit," he replies as he turns the wheel.

Jeff knows this line of conversation will quickly turn into uncomfortable territory. If he lets it continue, he could very well end up telling her how sad and pathetic he'd gotten after losing his bid. He puts on a smile and opts for the redirect.

"So which one of our illustrious classmates bought the Human Being?"

Annie tucks one leg under herself as she turns toward him. "I'll give you three guesses."

"Hmm..." Jeff draws out the sound to make a show of considering his first answer. "Garrett."

"Nope! He bought Vicki." Annie leans over and grabs his arm as she coos, "They make an adorable couple." She releases Jeff. "Guess again."

"Ok... Well... Pierce didn't have any money, so that only leaves..." He squints one eye to feign deep thought. "Chang."

"Wow. Impressive. Second try, and you nailed it!"

"That was too easy," Jeff responds, unable to prevent the smile from spreading across his face. After a moment, he has a horrifying thought. His eyes go wide, and his face fills with terror and disgust. "I hope he doesn't bring it to my apartment."

"Ugh," Annie groans as she visibly shutters. "That's just... Ew! What if you walked in on-"

"Don't!" Jeff shouts then finishes, "Don't continue that thought."

Annie laughs. "I wasn't going into detail. But if you get traumatized and need refuge, my place is Chang and creepy mascot-free." She shrugs and adds, "If you're not put off by the occasional gunshot and constant stream of perverts outside..."

"Thanks," Jeff replies. "I might take you up on the offer. You've really sold me on it." He glances at Annie. "Besides, somebody should keep an eye on you and protect you from everything that goes on down here."

Annie laughs. "Protect me? You're not exactly the protecting type."

A hurt look comes over his face. "What does that mean?"

Annie looks at him apologetically. "Jeff, even if were the damsel in distress-rescuing type, you know you're not intimidating."

"What? I'm manly."

She raises her eyebrows as she shoots him a look. "You can pick up women, but that's not the same. Even normal men aren't afraid of you." Annie leans back in her seat and crosses her arms over her chest. "Your hair products and abs won't scare perverts and junkies," she says with all the confidence of a street savvy former addict.

Before Jeff can respond, Annie points to her right.

"Just pull up along the curb over there," she instructs.

Jeff follows her gesture. "Woah!" Jeff gasps. "Holy neon lights! Is it still the 80's at this end of town? How did I not remember this? I must have been pretty out of it the night we dropped you off."

"Yeah." She nods and raises her eyebrows. "Neon boobs that big are hard to forget."

"Annie, you're such a pervert," Jeff teases. "Those are obviously just the letter O's in 'Dildopolis'." He brings the car to a stop and tilts his head to examine the sign. "They could be olives."

Annie laughs. "Sorry. I do have a reputation for only thinking about sex, don't I?"

Jeff half nods and half shrugs as he puts his Lexus into reverse to pull between two parked cars.

"They're still open. Late night two for one special," he says, reading the blinking sign in the window. "Since I'm already here... They have anything good?"

"Yuck!" Annie swats lightly at his arm. "Jeff, I do not go in there."

He places the car in park alongside the curb, and narrows his eyes at her. There was a time he would have unquestionably believed that answer, and that time was before a very detailed sexual dialog during a game of Dungeons and Dragons. She may be too young and too proper for places like bars and strip clubs, but she's old enough to buy from a sex shop, and Jeff finds it hard to believe she's never even gotten curious and wondered in. How could anybody, even Annie, live that close to this place for so long and never have wondered inside?

She crosses her arms. "Fine. I went in once."

"Just once?" he asks, teasing her with a raised eyebrow.

She glares at him. He grins.

"Yes, once," she insists.

"Okay. And?"

"And what?"

"What did you get?"

Annie gasps. "As if I would tell you."

"Come on," he pleads.

She continues glaring at him.

He tilts his head as he states matter-of-factly, "You know I won't tell anybody."

She bites her lip and studies his face, before declaring, "Underwear."

"Underwear?" Jeff asks, a bit of confusion working its way into his features. "Just underwear!"

"Not just underwear. Underwear that..." She raises her eyebrows and nods downward as she finishes, "does... things."

His focus moves in the direction Annie gestures with her eyes.

"Oh," Jeff says as images of the underwear doing... things to Annie rush through his head.

He swallows and realizes his mistake. Encouraging Annie to talk about this subject is incredibly counter productive to his decision not to think about the very... things she's talking about.

He needs to get away from her before he says or does anything else he shouldn't. Too bad. It had been going so well before he'd gone and screwed up by letting his smutty mind voice his curiosity.

"Well-" he starts to say before he's interrupted.

Jeff whips his head around at the sound of a shout, a series of honks, and a thud against his Lexus. A tall, unshaven man in a long black coat scrambles off the car's hood, clutching a bag of newly purchased items to his chest. Before he makes a second attempt to cross the street, he flashes Jeff and Annie a creepy smile that was probably meant to be apologetic.

"Moron," Jeff mutters.

"Ugh," Annie groans. "I don't even want to know what was in that bag. Some of these guys are so gross. I hate when they leer at me. It's the worst part of living here. It's even worse than the men at the strip club."

Jeff's mind freezes on the last portion of her statement, triggering for the second time that night the alcohol-hazed memory of a brunette strip club waitress. Until this moment, Jeff would have staked his life on the fact that Annie would never go into a strip club. Yet the words out of her very own mouth ran quite contradictory to that assumption. Jeff had to wonder how many things about Annie he had wrongly assumed.

"When have you been at a strip club?" Jeff asks.

Her shoulders stiffen. "What? I haven't!" Annie shouts.

Jeff studies her expression, trying to determine whether her over-emphasized denial is an indication that she's lying or that she's strongly offended by the idea. He suspects the former.

He narrows his eyes as he scrutinizes here. "Sounded like you were talking from experience."

She huffs. "That's crazy, Jeff."

Jeff nods slowly but remains unconvinced. He unfastens his seat belt to turn and face his hostile witness. He puts his arms over the back of her seat as he confronts her. "So, you've never been to a strip club? Not ever?"

He watches her blush as she looks out the front window, not meeting his eyes. "Why would I? They're gross. They're degrading to women and... and all that other stuff Britta would say."

His eyes narrow. "Really?" Jeff challenges.

Annie's head whips around at his tone. Her eyes electrify as she returns his challenge. "Really!"

He remains motionless with his eyes locked on hers. The temperature in the car seems to rise a few degrees as she silently dares him. He teeters between wanting to call her out and wanting to take her right here in his car. His body tells him to just grab her and crush her lips to his own, but he remains still.

"Really?" Jeff repeats, slowly drawing the word out.

What if he's wrong? What if Annie isn't the waitress he slept with? What if he's right? How could he possibly say "I think you're lying. I think I had sex with you... but I was too drunk to be one hundred percent sure"? There's no way to say that without sounding like a terrible person.

"Really," she says and leans closer, eyes still defiantly locked on Jeff's.

He clenches his jaw at the nearness of her. He can smell her perfume, all fruity and flowery. He should just say "okay" and leave, avoid an embarrassing situation for them both. Not that he doesn't really, desperately want to know. As wrong as it is, that shameless part of him would love to discover his lascivious encounter was with Annie. That memory was already hot, but he can already feel his pants becoming uncomfortably small at the thought that it was with Ms. Perfect Attendance herself.

"Really?" He narrows his eyes at her and leans in until her face is only inches from his own. "Because I'm pretty sure I saw a waitress a couple months ago who looked a lot like you."

She jumps away from him, and her eyes go wide as if she's been struck. Instantly, Jeff knows he's right. He also knows he made a mistake.

"Shit."

She gasps, "You knew!"

"No. I just..."

Before Jeff can say anything further, she mutters something about having to go while jumping out of the car.

"Annie!" Jeff shouts as she slams the door. He watches her rush up the steps adjacent to the marital aid store, and he leans his head against the back of his seat. "Damn it."

Jeff jumps at a honk blaring in his ears. He looks over his shoulder to see a faux wood station wagon with a rotund, bald man hanging out the driver's side window. Above the head lights, Jeff sees the man make a rolling gesture with his hand.

Jeff's lip curls upward in aggravation and his forehead wrinkles. "What the hell?"

"Are you leaving?" The man peers at Jeff from behind a pair of glasses that haven't been in style since the 70's as he shouts, "Can I have your space?"

Ignoring the man, Jeff jumps out of his car and slams the door shut. He jogs toward the steps he'd just seen Annie run up and takes the stairs two at a time to the top floor. Once he reaches the landing, he pulls open the door and steps into the hall. His nose wrinkles. The building smells like beer and old spaghetti.

There are four apartments. Jeff frowns as realizes he's never been here, and he doesn't know which one is Annie's.

"Annie?" he calls in a stage whisper.

No answer.

"Annie," he says a little louder.

He reaches into his pocket for his phone, but he comes up empty. Then he remembers Annie calling the taxi. She never returned his phone after the all, so it's either in his car or in her jacket pocket. He sighs as he looks back at the stairwell door, considering whether to walk back down to search for his phone... or maybe just leave.

What's he supposed to do if he stays, knock on every door until he find her? For God sake, who does she think he is, Hugh Grant? She couldn't possibly hold it against him if he were to give up and talk to her on Monday instead? Could she?

Jeff groans, takes a deep breath and turns left before rapping on the first door. A few moments later, it opens. An Asian woman in flannel pajamas stands before Jeff.

"Hey, sorry. Wrong apartment." Jeff tries to offer a friendly smile. "I know it's late, but I could use some help. Do you know where Annie lives?"

The woman stares blankly at him.

"Blue eyes, long brown hair. About this," he holds his hand near his shoulders, "tall. Wears cardigans and tights."

The woman points across the hall.

Jeff looks at the door she pointed to then back at the stranger. "Really?" The doors slams, and Jeff calls out, "Thanks."

Jeff turns, crosses the hall and raises his hand. He hesitates. Maybe he really should leave. Sure, Annie would be mad at him for awhile, but she'd eventually get over it. Maybe this is what needed to happen for them both to finally put this... this... whatever it was between them to rest. He should take his hand away from this door, stuff it in his pocket and leave. Maybe it's what he needs to finally get Annie out of his head. Then again, maybe his hand has a mind of its own.

"Go away, Jeff," he hears from the other side of the door before his fist can make contact.

His shoulders tense. His hand drops, and he takes a step back from the door.

"Are you watching me?"

"Like I couldn't hear all the shouting and knocking. These walls are like paper, Jeff." He hears a light thud against the door. "Now can you go away and stop bothering my neighbors?"

Jeff looks around and suddenly feels very self-conscious knowing that the entire building could be listening to their conversation. He leans close to the door and demands, "Just let me come in."

He's met with silence.

"Annie?"

"I can't believe you!" Her voice is much too loud for his liking. "You knew this whole time and were pretending nothing even happened. Then you bring it up like it's just some joke?"

"Excuse me?" Jeff exclaims, forgetting to remain quiet. "I just figured it out. You're the one who pretended nothing happened. Why am I the one getting yelled at?" He raises his voice louder. "I'm the one who should be mad!"

He hears a series of clicks before the nob turns. The door cracks open to reveal half of Annie's face, and the scent of apples drifts into the hallway.

"Really? You didn't know?"

Jeff remembers to keep his voice low and steps in close. "Annie, I was blitzed. You were dressed all... sexy. I never thought you'd be in a place like that. I'm still finding it hard to believe." His head tilts as he offers a reassuring smile. "And how was I supposed to know you could keep this kind of a secret so well?"

She bites her lip and seems to study him.

"Annie, can I please come in?"

She slowly opens the door and allows him to walk past before closing it and engaging all the locks.

"So now what?" Annie asks as she turns and leans against the door.

He shakes his head. "I'm not sure."

She folds her arms across her chest. "Well, if you want to have another 'it was a mistake' conversation, you can save it. I wasn't expecting anything to come of... having sex with you." She shrugs and casts her eyes to the floor. "And I remember the first talk well enough."

Jeff opens his mouth, but Annie interrupts. "And if you say 'relationships are complicated', you can go right back out the door."

His lips form a sarcastic half smile. "Yeah. Well... they are."

"I mean it," she threatens as she reaches toward the door knob.

"Okay. Sorry. This is a lot to process."

He turns and looks at the barred window above her bed, and he momentarily regrets not having left when he had the chance. Why did he have to start talking about sex shops and strip clubs? He wouldn't be in this position if he'd just pulled the damn car over and immediately said good night like he'd planned from the beginning. Right now, Annie would be in bed, and he'd be on his way back to his own apartment to fall asleep to the sound of a mentally unstable Asian man's snoring. Everything would be normal.

Jeff sinks onto the edge of Annie's bed. He glances at her. Damn it. She still looks beautiful with her dark curls and flowing green dress, but her eyes are full of nervousness and confusion. Any minute now, Jeff might make those eyes fill instead with hurt and anger. He drops his head into his hands.

He just couldn't keep his mouth shut. Although... maybe it's better that this is now in the open. No, his little-used noble side argues, it would have been better if he hadn't let it happen in the first place.

"Jeff?"

"I'm thinking," he mutters from his hands.

Her voice is soft as she asks, "Will that take long?"

He looks up at her. She's sitting on the arm of her sofa with her bare feet dangling.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I never should have let that happen."

"What?" Her eyes go wide, and she leans forward, letting her feet hit the floor. "Why are you sorry? You were right! You should should be mad at me. I'm the one who's sorry. It was my fault. I took advantage of you when you were-"

"Annie," he cuts her off. "I've had sex with plenty of women while I was drunk, and none of them, especially you, took advantage of me."

"But you didn't even know it was me," she protests. "You never would have done that if you did. It was really wrong of me. I didn't say anything, because I was afraid of what you would think or what you might say, but not telling you is probably even worse." Her eyes look as if they're about to spill over with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

Resting his elbows on his knees, Jeff takes a breath and exhales slowly. He wishes she would stop apologizing for something that was his fault. He can't let her continue to blame herself.

"No, I knew it was you," he says toward the floor.

"But you said-"

He shakes his head. "I didn't know exactly, but I imagined it."

"Huh?"

Jeff can picture her nose scrunched in confusion, but he continues looking at the floor as he lets out a heavy sigh.

"I'll probably regret telling you this, but when I was with her, I imagined she was you." Without lifting his head, Jeff peers past his eyebrows at Annie. "I wanted to be with you." He lets out a staccato laugh as the stupidity of that statement lands on his own ears. "Except she was you. You were you!" He meets her gaze with a sarcastic grin, "No imagination needed." He shakes his head. "I'm such an idiot."

"But.." She bites her lip as she watches him from across the room. "You could have been with me if you wanted to."

"It's not that simple."

She narrows a glare at him. "Why not?"

He leans back onto her bed and stares at the ceiling. How could he possibly tell her all the reasons? For starters, she's too young... No, that's not it, not really. That's just a trite, convenient excuse that's easy to throw around. He's met plenty of women her age he'd have no problem sleeping with. But Annie isn't like them. She's not a throw away. She's thoughtful and sweet. She's too sweet, too good for him. She's also emotional and sensitive. It scares the hell out of him that he could easily break her heart, or worse, she could break his. She's everything he's not and everything he can only ever hope to be.

From his horizontal position, Jeff tilts his head to look up at Annie.

"I doubt I can explain without sounding like a boy band lyric, and I can't bring myself to do that out loud just yet."

"Great." She huffs and falls out of sight onto her sofa. "So we're back to 'relationships are complicated'?"

He sits up. "No-"

"Jeff, you're not mad at me, and you don't want to be with me." Annie's head comes up, and she folds her arms across the back of the couch. She rests her head on her arms as she glares at him. "It's one a.m. Couldn't this wait until tomorrow? Why are we having this conversation now?"

Why? The shortest answer is that Jeff doesn't want her to be mad at him, but he knows that doesn't really answer the question. She's right. He could have left and sorted things out in a day or two. Why had he followed her up here? Why hadn't he let himself leave when he had the chance - correction - chances?

The real explanation is the same reason he made a fool of himself when other men wanted to bid on her at the auction earlier tonight. It's the reason he keeps finding himself in compromising situations with her. Why he can't seem to ever stick with the conviction that being with her is wrong. Why he waited for her tonight. It's why after every time he's been publicly humiliated, he's found his way to her.

He needs her. That's why he couldn't leave. If he left her alone the entire night to form her own conclusions about his motives - per his usual attempts to let things blow over - she would naturally assume the worst. Jeff certainly hadn't given her any reason not to. He very likely would not be able to undo the damage the next day. Even if she forgave him, this was major enough that she would never have the same affection for him. He couldn't let that happen.

Jeff lets out a long sigh. His shoulders slump, and he hangs his head in defeat.

"I love you."

Her voice is loud and squeaky. "What!"

"I love you," he repeats.

"That's not funny, Jeff," she says in a flat, warning tone.

"It's not supposed to be." He shrugs and lifts his head to meet her eyes. "I don't know what to do about it, but I know I love you."

Annie looks around the room as though she's expecting a camera crew to emerge from the walls and inform her she's been Punk'd.

Jeff silently chuckles. He can't blame her. He can barely believe he said it himself. He wasn't exactly planning to say it. Now that he has, he really has no plan for what to do next. He's finally put himself in a position where there's no room for bailing out. Well, he could bail. He could take it back and pretend it was a bad joke. She'd never give him another chance if he did. That is if she didn't kill him instead.

Aside from the danger to his own life, he doesn't want to take it back. Even if she told him to go to hell and leave her apartment, Jeff is still glad he came clean. He can finally breathe again. Until now, he's felt like someone has had their hands around his lungs just waiting to squeeze.

Jeff watches her blinking and shaking her head. She opens and closes her mouth. Single syllables occasionally escape as though she's searching for the correct words.

"You're being really weird," she finally says.

He smiles and nods. "I know."

Annie stares at him, squinting and studying. She still looks beautiful. Maybe, Jeff thinks, figuring out what to do next isn't complicated. Maybe none of it has to be.

Annie's eyes go wide with surprise as Jeff stands. He crosses toward the rear of the sofa. Annie gazes up at him with a puzzled and uncertain expression. She raises on her knees, closer to eye level as he approaches.

Her eyes are still full of suspicion when he reaches one hand out to brush her hair back. With his eyes locked on hers, he lets his hand drift to her chin as he leans in. Her hands move up his chest as her lips connect with his. He wraps his arms around her waist, and her hands snake up around his neck. When he starts to lift her from the sofa, she pulls back.

"Jeff..." Annie says in an unsteady whisper.

He holds onto her waist, not letting her slip too far. With his forehead resting against hers, he assures her, "I wasn't kidding. Tomorrow, I'm not going to pretend I never said it." He absent-mindedly smooths her ruffled hair with his hands. "I'm sure it's already getting old to hear me say it, but I really do love you."

"That's really sweet." She grins and kisses his nose. "But I was just going to say I love you, too."

"Oh. Even better," he says as he pulls her close.

* * *

Jeff pulls the tin of coffee off the shelf and places it onto the counter next to the little, white coffee pot and a single mug. He kneels down and opens a cabinet in search of a second mug. He finds pots and pans. Padding a few steps to his left in his bare feet, he opens the next cabinet. Glasses, but no mugs.

"I can't find the mugs," Jeff calls.

"What?" he hears Annie say as the water turns off in the bathroom sink.

"Where are your mugs?" he asks as he looks in the last cabinet. "I only found this green one."

Annie emerges with a hair brush in hand.

"That's the only one I have."

He raises an eyebrow at her. She shrugs.

"I've never needed more than one before. Vaughn didn't dr-"

Jeff cuts her off. "I don't need to hear about that."

Annie offers him an awkward, apologetic smile. She moves toward the sofa as she runs the brush through her hair.

"You can use it." She plops on the cushions and tucks her legs under her. "I shouldn't drink coffee after I just brushed my teeth."

Of course Annie would brush her teeth and hair before she's even taken a shower.

"Nah. We can hit a Starbucks before we get your car," he says as he places the mug on the counter.

Jeff leans against the counter and smiles. He watches Annie meticulously brush through her long locks. He notices the hint of hot pink underwear poking out where her tank top has ridden up her bare leg. When his focus returns to her face, Jeff notices her smile has drifted into a crestfallen frown.

"What's wrong?" Jeff asks as he crosses to take a seat next to her on the sofa.

She stops brushing. "I have a confession."

"Okay..."

She bites her lip as she gazes at him with doe eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with my car." She nervously picks at the bristles of her hair brush as she continues, "And my phone is in my jacket pocket. I had it the whole time last night when I told you I didn't have it. I made everything up so you wouldn't think I was totally lame for waiting around so long for you." Her bottom lip forms a pout. "I never even ordered a taxi. I only pretended. When I told you I was calling for one, I was actually just talking with the information operator. I was going to drive myself home after you left."

"Wow," Jeff deadpans as he rubs his hands on his legs. "That's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard."

Annie's jaw drops as she gasps and swats at Jeff's bare chest.

"You are so mean!"

A smile plays at the corner of Jeff's mouth.

"Except..." Jeff adds, "There is one one thing I can think of that's slightly more pathetic."

"Yeah?" Annie leans in close. "What?"

Jeff raises his eyebrows and closes the remaining distance between them.

"I'm not a compulsive bidder."

Annie laughs as she pushes Jeff against the arm of the sofa. She crawls up to peer down at him.

"Jeff, I already figured that out."


End file.
